Should You Do a First Look? Let's Talk About It

One of the biggest questions I get from couples is whether they should do a first look before the ceremony. If you have spent any time scrolling through Pinterest or TikTok, you have probably seen photographers and brides sharing strong opinions on both sides. Some people say it is the best decision they made, while others would not change the tradition of waiting until the ceremony for anything.

The truth is, there is not a right or wrong answer.

A first look is simply a private moment where you and your partner see each other before the ceremony instead of waiting until you walk down the aisle. For some couples, it is exactly what they have always imagined. For others, waiting until the ceremony feels more meaningful. Neither choice is better than the other. It all comes down to what feels most like you.

If you are someone who gets nervous in front of a crowd, a first look can be a wonderful option. It gives you a chance to slow down, take a deep breath, and spend a few quiet minutes together before the excitement of the day begins. You can hug, laugh, cry, or simply stand there soaking it all in without hundreds of eyes watching.

Many couples tell me this ends up being one of their favorite memories from the entire day because it is one of the only moments they are truly alone together.

A first look can also make your wedding day feel much more relaxed. Since many of your portraits are taken before the ceremony, you will spend less time away from your guests during cocktail hour. Instead of feeling like you are rushing from one photo to the next, you can enjoy more of the celebration with your family and friends.

On the other hand, maybe you have always dreamed of seeing your partner for the very first time as you walk down the aisle.

There is something incredibly special about that moment. The music begins, the doors open, and everyone turns to watch as you make your way toward the person you are about to marry. For many couples, that moment has been part of their wedding day vision for years, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to keep that tradition.

One thing I hear often is that couples are afraid a first look will take away from the emotion during the ceremony.

In my experience, that almost never happens.

The emotions during your ceremony are completely different. During your first look, you are focused on each other. During the ceremony, you are surrounded by the people who love you most as you exchange vows and officially begin your marriage. Those emotions are just as real, whether you have already seen each other or not.

Some couples choose to meet for a quiet breakfast or coffee together on the morning of their wedding. It is a simple way to calm your nerves and spend intentional time together before the day begins, then you can separate to get ready without seeing each other again until the ceremony.

Another beautiful option is exchanging private vows without actually seeing one another. You can stand on opposite sides of a door, around the corner of a building, or simply hold hands while reading your vows. You still get to share that intimate moment together, hear each other's voices, and soak in the emotions without giving away the surprise of seeing one another.

You can even combine the two ideas. Some couples choose to exchange private vows while holding hands first, then step out for a first look afterward. This gives you the privacy of sharing your promises without an audience while still creating that unforgettable moment of seeing each other for the first time.

At the end of the day, my advice is simple. Choose the option that feels true to your relationship, not the one that social media tells you is best.

Your wedding day is about celebrating your love story, not following someone else's timeline. Whether you choose a quiet first look before the ceremony or wait until those chapel doors open, the moment will be unforgettable because it is yours.

As your photographer, I will be there to document every smile, every happy tear, and every emotion exactly as it unfolds. My job is not to convince you to choose one option over the other. My job is to help preserve the moments that matter most, whatever your wedding day looks like.